The reality is life is changing all the time. Whether it is breaking up with someone, getting a new career opportunity, or experiencing a real tragedy, we’ve all had to go through something. They say, “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger,” but I don’t always think it’s only about getting stronger. I believe when you go through a life changing experience you should come out of it not only stronger, but also smarter.
When it comes to breakups, be smarter. Getting stronger in a relationship sense often means putting up massive emotional walls. I don’t think this how we are meant to learn from past relationships. We should seek to learn why the past relationship failed, how we can become better at dating and understanding our partner. Most importantly, I think the most valuable lesson from a breakup is in the coming months. This is where you either sulk about the person you lost or take the time to learn about the person you are. Learning a little about you is invaluable before starting another relationship. Be comfortable with yourself, because lovers may come and go, but there will remain one constant and that is YOU. If you aren’t comfortable with yourself and spending time alone, you won’t be able to be comfortable with someone else.
I, as many other people reading this, lost a good friend just over two years ago. Sure my parents split up when I was young (who’s didn’t), and I fought with my brother (who doesn’t) but, this was the first real tragedy that I had to experience during my life. To say it changed me would be an understatement. I never knew the affect one person could have, until they were gone. Sure it made me stronger, but the experience made me smarter than I ever thought possible. Not in any academic sense, but in the way I go through day-to-day experiences. I realized that we get to decide whether to be positive or negative. It is that simple. With everything going on in your life you have the choice whether or not to look at the bright or dark side of things. The friend who was lost, I can honestly say he was the most positive person I have ever had the privilege of knowing. He also was one of the hardest working people I have ever known. With whatever he did, whether it was school or sports, he excelled. Not because he was the most gifted, but because he wanted it more than the competition. This is what it really comes down to, be determined (work hard) and appreciative (positive).
Things will go wrong. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but unfortunate events will happen to us all. In life, it’s not about all the mistakes we make, or the hardships we endure. It is about how we learn from our mistakes and the hardships. Do we come out better people? I would like to believe there is something positive to be taken from everything we go through in life. Keep learning and remember what doesn’t kill you should make you smarter.
RIP B.D. #7