December 15, 2011

Top 10 Movie Athletes

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Written by: CAVE Editors
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Just Missed the Cut

Adam Sandler as Robert ‘Bobby’ Boucher Jr. in “Waterboy”

R: 2 / SS: 5/D: 9/ T: 16

The little innocent water boy became the hardest hitter on the team. His body of work was ridiculous, but very consistent at laying the wood. Hurt by the fact that it’s intended to be comedic and almost too much of a joke than a serious athlete to be witnessed.

 Thomas Ian Nicholas as Henry Rowengartner in “Rookie of the Year”

R: 1.5 SS: 5 D: 10 T: 16.5

Dominance exemplified. Henry was a likeable character, living the dream of many young baseball fans, playing for his beloved Chicago Cubs. Henry’s performance is too unrealistic for any human being, nonetheless a pre-teen to be striking out MLB sluggers after sustaining an injury to an arm making it stronger. The movie is cute, but just too far-fetched to rank higher.

Kip Pardue as Ronnie ‘Sunshine” Bass in “Remember the Titans”

R: 6 SS: 3 D: 8 T: 17

How often does a back up quarterback come into a game and just dominate the opponent? Almost never. Sunshine became one of the stars on the team and helped carry the team to a championship. Dude was outstanding on the field, but there wasn’t enough emphasis around his character for him to hold up against the other athletes on this list.

Cuba Gooding Jr. as Rod Tidwell in “Jerry Maguire”

R:6  SS: 7 D: 5.5 T: 18.5

Tidwell talked a big game wanting to get paid like the other play makers in the league. The audience doesn’t get to see him play much and when we do its a couple plays until he gets knocked out for 5mins. What supports his dominance is that he stops the game to put on a love-fest for the world to see, but it could never happen in real life without him getting all kinds of penalties or knocked out by an angry opponent.

Lawrence Taylor as Luther ‘Shark’ Lavay inAny Given Sunday”

Though fictional, why not get one of the best linebackers of all-time to play a character who mirrors himself. Taylor’s depiction was brilliant and obviously very believable, however, due to the focus on the many other characters the story line doesn’t help Shark on this list.

R: 8 SS: 5.5 D: 7 T: 20.5

Joel Edgerton as Brendan Conlon (right) in” Warrior

R: 5.5 SS: 7.5 D: 7.5 T: 20.5

The man was a school teacher facing bankruptcy and foreclosure so he took up Mixed Martial Arts as an avenue to generate more money. Realistic, sure, but for him to enter the tournament, beat out other world reknown (and real life MMA fighters and even pro wrestler Kurt Angle) on his way to meet his own estranged brother and make him tap out in the finals is very hard to believe. A man sure can dream, but can’t crack the top ten.

Nelly as Megget in “The Longest Yard” 

R: 7 SS: 5 D: 8.5 T: 20.5

Dude was smooth and shifty, and even believable, because we all know that there’s many of the best athletes ever serving time behind bars (hold your heads) The Longest Yard was a comedic movie that looked a lot at too many other characters, hurting the opportunity for viewers to see more out of Megget.




About the Author

CAVE Editors
Want to contribute to CAVE Magazine? Email jay@cavemag.com!


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