Has your girlfriend/wife/girl friend ever told you “I’m fine” and left you wondering what the hell just happened? If you’re not careful, you have the potential to unlock the gates of hell with your actions. I know you don’t understand. I don’t think even we really understand…
Nevertheless, here are a few key phrases to look out for.
Really means: ”I’m not fine, jerk.”
Really means: “It’s not whatever. Try harder, jerk.”
“K I’m leaving / going to sleep.”
Really means: “You’d better not let me take one step out this door / hang up this phone.”
Really means: “Have a miserable time without me, jerk.”
“Did you make any new friends?”
Really means: “Were there any cute girls?”
“Do I look fat in this?”
Really means: “I know I look fat. Just tell me I don’t.”
“I don’t care.”
Really means: “I do care and I’m going to spend the rest of the night being angry until you figure out a way to fix it.”
Really means: “F*ck You.”
“I hate you.”
Really means: ”I hate you.”
“Fine. If you’re not even gonna listen then I’m never gonna tell you anything ever again.”
Really means: ”I’m just saying this because I’m mad. I’ll still fill you in tomorrow.”
Okay boys, that’s all I’m giving you. Be attentive of punctuation. A period at the end of a short sentence – or worse, one word - means you’re in trouble. Recognize these signs before it’s too late and you’re spending the rest of your night trying to figure it out.
Got any translations for me? Let’s hear ‘em!