Sex and Relationships

January 16, 2012

Her Tips on Coping with the Stress of Relationships

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Written by: Indrani
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Give her space

The race is unending. Aspirations nursed, are awesome. The goals set – limitless, wanting to touch the skies. Chasing dreams is common. Life today is hectic – age notwithstanding. The fall out – stress.

As such stress and everyday life have become synonymous for most. In the workplace, people need to apply individual stress management skills to cope. Sometimes existing relationships come under strain and begin to creak – tending to become a burden.
“It would have been great to be single” – is a thought that recurs with nagging obstinacy. After a hard day’s work who wants to go back home when all is not well with the “most important person” of your life?  Sometimes it’s your fault, sometimes it’s not. But instead of finding faults with each other and making things bitter, why not change a bit for the better? There’s no harm trying.
If you are in a relationship, married, planning to get married or even in case of a live-in relationship, you have certain expectations from your partner. In the beginning of any relationship, the universe takes on myriad shades of color but with the passage of time, misunderstandings, and contradictions gnaw. If this happens – don’t worry yourself sick thinking the world has crashed. This is the story of all average so called “social and normal” people. Though such self-stimulating thoughts can sooth to an extent, bringing temporary mental satisfaction, but in the long run you can’t exactly beam with unbridled joy in a party or give your best shot to an office project, when in friction with the person you have decided to share your life with. As a result, friends eventually stop calling to hang out, worse, your get an unwarranted warning from your boss.
Let’s try and find some remedies for these everlasting never-ending “what happens when” problems:


Do it together

When both of you come home equally tired – the first thing that comes to mind is “Oh God! Miles to go before I sleep.” Well it’s not that tough. There is no point doing everything alone and sulking. Talk to your partner about it. If you cook that evening- ask her to do the cleaning or to take care of the kid’s homework. You won’t feel the “so called” stress at all once you work hand-in-hand with your loved one. That’s the best part of togetherness.

Show respect if you want it for yourself

This one is clichéd but works with the same efficacy even today. Respect your partner – sometimes with words, because mutual respect can do wonders to your relationship.

For men out there, please remember today’s women are not inferior beings. Those with a strong personality and fiercely independent spirit need to be handled with kid gloves. Be patient with your girl, she will do anything to make you happy.

Little FockersMake yourself comfortable with your partner’s family

Being possessive is not a crime but it is better not to think that you have to have 100 per cent control over your spouse all the time. She is not a product, who has landed on your lap. Their respective families have been playing a critical role to make her what they are today. Denying this will make things more difficult for you. Try to understand that her family is yours too. None of us is perfect, so in case of a problem – don’t bitch. If you don’t like something, try discussing it with your spouse as she would know her family better and might come up with a workable solution. Harshness about and criticism of one’s family will not only hurt your lady’s ego, it will create a distance between the two. And finally if you don’t treat her family as your own, don’t expect she will do it for yours.

Give her space

Give space – keep some for yourself too.

This is really important to keep your relation going. Don’t follow her everywhere. You are certainly not an adorable pug as in advertisements. If your spouse enjoys playing reading or dancing for sometime – let her. Don’t brood over it and feel that she is not giving you company. If you enjoy video games – indulge in it.  In short, keep some “Me time”. It rejuvenates your individuality.

Be friend first – lover afterwards
Your spouse should be your best friend in its true sense. No matter what you do, what you think, share it with her. It helps. At some point you might find it tough, but if you can do it, this strengthens your relationship; it creates bonding and it sweeps away all your insecurities. Being the “best friend” of your “love” makes your life brighter, lighter, sweeter and full of laughter.

Last but not the least
Spend time with each other – the longer the better

Have coffee, talk sheer nonsense, do all sorts of insignificant stuff, even fight.



About the Author

Originally from India,Indrani moved to Montreal for pursuing her PhD in Biophysics. Doing Science is her profession and writing remains passion. She enjoys continuing both with equal amount of intensity and inspiration. She strongly believes 'being sponteneous' brings out the best of any author. She loves, laughs living through her words.


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