I have heard that “all is fair in love and war,” but to me this implies that you must cheat or bend the rules in order to get what you want. What if we stopped worrying about what we got, and just worried about how we conducted ourselves throughout love and war? When I hear the saying, I think it should read, “All should be fair in love and war.” This means to me that no matter what the outcome of any conflict or relationship is, we should act with the best intentions in mind. Great people fall in and out of love, and they get into arguments with others just like anyone else. What makes them great is the way they act before, during and after any relationship/conflict. These are the people that are willing to forgive and understand others. These people hold no biases or preconceived judgments. These people are fair.
You may say it’s not cheating, just simply playing to win. I haven’t been able to understand this mindset. Love isn’t about who wins and loses. In love, you should always be fair and not worry about what happens in the end. If you put all your attention and worry into how things will turn out, you will never get to enjoy what happens along the way. Regardless of how you act, the world will continue to go round, but loving someone and being loved is what makes your trip on this earth worthwhile. When I say things should be fair in love, I mean that we should be willing to love, listen, laugh and be open with partners. Not lie, cheat or be controlling. The lying, cheating and being controlling only provides short term gratification and a guilty conscience. Being open, loving and listening to your partner is what will undoubtedly make you happier in the end.
In conflicts, make sure to maintain your dignity. Don’t try to cheat or lie to get around something. Be fair, if you have done something wrong, own up to it. If someone has done wrong by you, or broken your trust, the answer doesn’t lay in returning the favor. I am not insisting you don’t stand up for yourself, I just believe there is a correct way to do so. Small disagreements can turn into full-fledged fights with one offside comment. Stay calm, try to be understanding, and give the other person the benefit of the doubt. No one wins in fights, but when they happen try to keep the damage to a minimum.
We are all imperfect, but as long as we strive for perfection I believe our future is bright.