Well it’s time for you to make your place “girl” friendly. It goes without saying that your bathroom, kitchen and bedroom should be immaculate. You may not mind the pubes on the bathroom floor, but she does.
Great! Now that you have cleaned up your house a bit, there are five other things that you need to put out of site before she comes over. No matter how much you love the following items, or how harmless you think they may be, trust me you will want to put them away.
If only life was this sweet.
1. Take a Flight Off of Fantasy Island
Look we are guys, we like video games and action movies. The girl who is coming over, however, she doesn’t share the same passion for the Ninja Turtles live action movie as you do. So take down any posters that make reference to Lord of the Rings, and hide your Dragon Quest strategy guide. She is coming over to date a man, she doesn’t need to know you and your roommates ingested more Mountain Dew and played more Mariokart last night than humanly safe. It’s okay to have your PS3 of Xbox out, but you should probably put away the replica Halo helmet that’s all.
2. Lotions, Toilet Paper, Paper Towel.
You masturbate, she knows that all guys do, but tonight you are both going to pretend that you have never thought about it. Any lotion, toilet paper, or dirty mags you have in your room have to go. Your lotion may be for when you get out of the shower and the toilet paper for you to blow your nose in the morning, but when she sees either, she thinks one thing…Jerk off station.
3. Any Drinking Accessories or Fallen Soldiers
I know you and your roommates are proud of the mountain of beer cans you have made during the past semester, but once again, it’s has to go. Things like towers of beer, are only cool to other guys. Also, like any standing male household you probably have a beer bong of some sort. This also should be taken off of the mantle and put in the hallway closet.
4. Computer History
On the off chance she needs to use your computer, you don’t want to be made out to be a porn addict. If she goes to punch in youtube and youporn comes up as a favorite, trust you will be visiting a porn site that evening instead of getting some action.
5. Roommates
You love your roommates, they are your boys. They are also a disaster waiting to happen. Try to have to have the house to yourself, or ask your roommates if you can go without ridicule until she leaves.
Now that your place is clean, Here are the 5 Things You Should Put out to Make Your Place Girl Ready
jordan@cavemag.com
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