1. Asking your parents for beer money – The days of getting an allowance are over. It’s time to get a part-time job to fund your party habit.
2. Your high school wardrobe/the “I don’t care” look – All of the American Eagle and Hollister shirts should be removed from your wardrobe. They were cool when you were young, but you’re not young anymore. Dress your age.
Not caring about your physical appearance, says two things about you: (1) you’re lazy; and (2) you don’t care what other people think. Ultimately, both mean you’re immature. Remember, first impressions matter.
3. Shirtless mirror pictures – These were never cool (though many guys have snapped one). No Myspace account = no shirtless pictures.
4. Not knowing how to cook – Cooking can be intimidating, but it shouldn’t be. You won’t wake up one day and cook like Emeril. It’s a process. The only way to learn is trial and error.
5. Applying bandages, removing splinters etc. – If Aron Ralston can saw off his own hand with a pocketknife to free himself from a boulder, you can dig out a splinter with a pair of tweezers.
6. Malt liquor – Colt 45 was good in high school (mainly because you could afford it). Give up the cheap booze and start drinking quality spirits.
7. Poor language skills – Not only do people find swearing unprofessional, women also consider it a turnoff. Find other words to express yourself. You should also eliminate chatspeak like 4ever, omglol, roflcopterlmao, etc. It makes you look like a 12-year-old girl.
8. Relying on others to do your laundry – Separate the colours, put the clothes in the machine and press the button. There is no excuse for bringing dirty laundry to your parents’ house.
9. Low-riding your pants – Google search “the origin of low-riding your pants.” You will quickly realize it’s not cool and you should invest in a belt.
10. Updating your Facebook status every ½ hour – Nobody cares about your life that much. If you’re doing the most interesting thing in the world, do it without your smartphone in hand.
11. Not tipping at restaurants – Unless the server throws a drink in your face, tipping is mandatory. 15% is custom.
12. Letting your mother pick your clothes – Socks and underwear should be the only thing your mother buys you. Everything else is up to you. Find a look you like and go from there. There are countless online style guides to help with this (like CAVE’s 10 Winter Wardrobe Upgrades Under $100).
13. Using “I didn’t know” as an excuse – Be accountable for your actions. Nobody likes the guy that constantly deflects.
14. The girl that drives you insane – Take her off the pedestal and move on. She was cool, but she’s dragging you down.
15. Your sense of entitlement – If you haven’t done anything significant, you don’t deserve anything significant. Teachers aren’t out to get you and your boss doesn’t hate you. If you get a “D” on a paper you wrote the night before, you deserve it.
16. Sleeping all day – There are numerous clichés suggesting early rising leads to efficiency. They’re true.
17. Unprotected sex – You don’t want a STI and you’re not ready for a baby. Condoms are free at most health clinics.
18. Removing the crust from your food – Whether it’s a sandwich or a slice of pizza; the only people avoiding crusty foods should be small children and seniors with false teeth. You’ve got a full set of canines and grinders mounted firmly into a man-sized jaw. Use them.
19. Your posters – Replace the posters in your room with pictures. DMX isn’t doing you any favours.
20. Wearing a baseball cap in any other direction than straight or backwards – When Derek Jeter starts wearing his Yankee hat sideways, you can too. Until then, keep it cap forward or backward.
21. Yelling at people out of car windows – Cat-calling women or insulting skateboarders doesn’t make you manly. You look like a fool and you are begging for problems.
Written By CAVE Staff Members: Nick Kim, Luke Boardman and Jordan Scheltgen